worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
