did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
