i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
