If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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