you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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