when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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