she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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