is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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