I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
