So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
