Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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