i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Let's paint friendship bongs
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
