one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
