So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
another moral hangover. fuck.
kristin has been a bad kristin
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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