you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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