Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
