I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
