He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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