I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
