areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Someone stole a lamp last night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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