hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
