She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
