dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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