I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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