If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm at about main and main street
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize