Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
