i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
