If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
