also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
