You work out of a Hotel?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
