you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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