I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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