I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
now i know why i became what i already was.
handjob tips. give me some.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
