seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
