Kiss
Puke
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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