Buhtt sex?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
