I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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