I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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