Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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