suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your cock deserves a montage
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
