Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
