Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
