the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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