I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
