I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Are my feet made of real feet?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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