god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
