He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
