wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
