giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
