it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
