i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
