scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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