She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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