I think I died a long time ago.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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