Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
