i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
