Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
