i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
