he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
