I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
