don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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