peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
