I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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