would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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