i think i have herpe
just one?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
