I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Couch. On fire.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
