so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
