dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
