why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
