I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
