I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
